32 posts tagged “foolish self-absorbed frippery”

I went to the dentist this morning, for the first time in about 5 years.  Cleaning didn't take too long, and x-rays show no cavities. 

As per usual, dentist and technicians alike were surprised that I have all of my wisdom teeth, and that I've had them since I was 12.

I still have to do final edits, and probably rewrite my conclusion and shore up my points, but my first term paper is done.  To celebrate, I vacuumed my kitchen and entry area, and made biscuits.

A dear friend has repeatedly accused me of domesticity, and I'm afraid I'm just going to have to accept it.  But damnit, I'm more than a domestic, I'm an feminist buddhist academic. 

With great hair.

:-P

A while back, I setup my Mac to run Photobooth at login, so I would remember to take a picture of myself every day.  Why?  Foolish, self-absorbed frippery, of course.  However, I also have a curiosity about how I change from day to day, over the course of a year or however long I have this nifty computer.

There are so few photos of me; I've long shied from cameras, not wanting my appearance or shape to be a lasting image.  As an odd compromise between self-loathing and self-absorption, I take most of my iSight-driven self-portraiture when I first sit at my workstation in the morning, with my tea. 

My last haircut was in late August.  Damn, there's nearly two inches that needs to go.

I thought I had an ongoing series of blog confessions...but I can't find 'em.

Anyway...

Confession #3: whenever I re-read my thesis, the last page always makes me a cry a bit.  It's a good piece of writing, impassioned and genuine.

I'm still trying to figure out my morning routine.  Today I did a better job: up at 5:30, put the kettle on, start the porridge, let the cat out, make tea, sit outside watching the pale dawn glow redder. I was surprised by the amount of traffic noise so early--not even the morning birds had begun their twittering.  With the various other things of my morning routine, some of them non-ordinary (shifting everything into a different backpack, pumping up my bike tires, packing up a change of clothes, etc.), I was out the door by 7:30.  My intent was to be on my way at 7-7:15ish (when bicycling), so I need to shave some activity out of my morning.  I think the 10 minutes of watching the sunrise and listening to the outside world is time well spent, however.

As usual, my cat mreowled annoyedly at me when I would not let her back out.

I biked all the way to work again, but this time took SoBoRd to Cherryvale to Baseline and then up various bike lanes and paths thru CU campus to Naropa.  It took me about 45 minutes.  I can probably shave off 10 minutes once I've discovered shorter routes of bike paths through the neighborhoods and such.

My ass is still rather unfond of my bicycle seat.  I'll get used to it in time and in the meantime keep adjusting the angle of the seat until it feels mostly right.  Or I'll have to get one of them weird-looking seats.

Once at work, I locked up my bike and dropped off my things in my cubicle, drank a third of my water bottle and got my change of clothes etc. and tromped off to the bathroom where I toweled off and changed.(The bike shower at the Arapahoe campus is sketch.  Maybe I'll inquire at the Grove Haus for occasional early morning bathroom access in exchange for kitchen-witchery on Sundays).  My hair, recently cut, was an unholy mess thanks to my bicycle helmet, so I did what I could with it and then dropped my things off before going to take a 20 minute sit in the shrine room.

Ideally, I'll ride to work every day, but in practicality, I think I might, at best, manage 2-3 times per week, since my schedule varies due to classes.  Whatever the case, I want to get in 30 minutes of sitting every morning in the shrine room--I have the most stable practice there. 

So I'm in Austin.  The humidity here is something to be marveled at, preferably from the cool distance of the air-conditioned interior of a building.  However, in my short time here I've learned that the interiors of Austin buildings are chilled to freezing, so I am torn between extremes.  For the interiors, I have a hoodie, and am clad light for the outdoors.  

I'm very crampy with my period newly here.  Walking around yesterday helped with the pain, so I might do that again rather than freeze my toes off inside.  There's a modern art museum to see, and TexMex to seek out.

I'm perhaps the youngest person here for the conference, and most certainly the only atheist.  It's unlikely that I'll make contact in this context to sell my services as a "queer aesthetician" (life coach).

There is a bell tower across the river bonging out the hour.  I should shower and attempt to be a part of the world, or at least have lunch with my parents once the ibuprofin kicks in.

This morning I am tweaking on coffee because I woke with such a lethargy and desire to remain forever in bed that I just had to combat the urge with coffee.  I recently purchased a press pot with which to make coffee other than espresso for my recurring overnight guest who prefers the shock of caffeine punched in by coffee over the gentle seepage from tea.  And so I gave it a run this morning: 3 scoops of beans into the grinder, and half a pot of hot water over the grounds.  I are teh tweakage, mais oui, whee!  It's funny how caffeine hits when I'm accustomed to very small doses.  I better not do this more often than once a week.

And, my cat is beyond adorable, laying in the sunlight spot on the floor.  I have taken pictures with the proper digicam, which recently was unearthed from where it languished since moving.

Today, another day of work.  Tonight, maybe a Midsummer Eve party and a Surrealist Salon.  Or perhaps I'll just come home for another night of intentional aloneness.  I am undecided at this early hour, where it's now time for yoga, then a shower, then off to my day.

It occurs to me that all of my recent vox posts are boring.  I should get around to writing something really queer this weekend.

"Existence really is an imperfect tense that never becomes a present." -- Nietzsche

Yesterday afternoon, I went to Target to get some of the things I need for my new place, such as some cleaning supplies.  There's something about Target which tests the limit of stimulus I can handle.  I get overloaded in that store in particular more than any other.  The Mall can do it to me, but it takes longer, usually, because there's more actual space.  With Target, I become substantially reduced in functioning within minutes of walking in the door.

And so, of course, when I'm shopping at Target, I'm going to bump into friends and then (to them) look like I'm completely out of it because, frankly, I am.  I get overstimulated or whatever the hell happens to me in such places, and then I'm incapable of handling casual social encounter gracefully. Even with two women who are good friends, with whom I have mutual adoration.

I'm like...uh....er....shop-ping.  Have list.  Must. find. can. opener. Bewildered. by. many. options.  Uhh...  Thankfully, The Poet pointed out that it's worth it in the long run to get the $15 can opener instead of the $5 one. 

In other news, I have packed up my shrine and moved some of my furniture to a staging area, and I've started putting boxes in the newly-opened space of my office.  I needed to make space for the bed to be moved through, which is going to be tricky no matter what.  Friday afternoon, before my Craigslist movers arrive, I'll have to take my bed apart, move the mattress to a staging area, and so forth, so I can get to the little frame underneath and disassemble it.  Tonight is the last night I'll sleep in my own bed in the mountain house.

My cat, thankfully, doesn't seem to hate me. She seems to like climbing on the boxes.

Care of the Naropa free-box, I found a cool end-table sort of thing to serve as my new shrine table (instead of a bookcase, which will return to its primary function in my library).  I also found a utensil tray that fits all of my flatware, and a folding shelf thingy that will probably take a place in my bathroom.  I also packed up a big big bin full of "this is the stuff I am likeliest to need immediately when I move in", which includes TP, paper towels, cleaning supplies, sponges, dish soap and my dish rack (which just happened to fit in the available space).

It's odd for me to be this concerned with stuff, and to have so much stuff largely unavailable to me.  And there's so much I must do tonight.  Such as laundry and packing any clothing I can pack, and dishes and gathering up the last of the kitchen things.  And setting aside all of my large framed artwork, somewhere.

I still need to buy a pizza slicer.  I guess I could use my big chef's knife, if I remember to pack it up and move it before I go.

I now have over 30 boxes packed.  Today, I've been doing laundry, dancing to Podrunner in my living room, packing boxes, organizing stuff, packing more, and most recently, belting out tunes along to Indigo Girls at the top of my lungs.  And drinking New Belgium brewery's 1554. 

It's rather fun to have this time to myself with no one to feel embarrassed or shy of as I dance and sing, although I think daisywarrior would probably cheer me on.

I'm contemplating attempting voice lessons with T.C. later this summer.

In other news, I want to go dancing.  Soon.  Perhaps tonight at Trilogy.

Atraya is kind enough to keep separating my stuff from hers and otherwise divide up the community property (such as the towels), and so it's less difficult to pack my stuff than it would have been. She's a virgo and therefore loves doing this sort of sorting and organizing anyway, by I really appreciate her efforts.  Amicable breakups are the way to go.

The rest of this post is boring; feel free to skip.

Right now, I'm up to 18 boxes of books plus other things (so that no one box is completely full of books), and I suspect I have about 10 more to go when it comes to: kitchen things, bathroom things, clothing, shrine, office stuff.  Perhaps more, come to think of it. 

Recently, I acquired a chest-of-drawers and a dresser/desk with chair, shabby-chic style, from my friend and many-times-classmate Amy.  Last night, I also acquired a nice computer desk, two sets of metro shelves, a couch-of-sleep-able-proportion, and a chest of drawers from the lovely men who are the current tenants of my future abode.  Given the extra set of drawers, I think I shall bequeath the shabby-chic to Atraya (who will paint it tastefully to match her style), but I'm keeping the desk.  It's so damned cute.  I'll also be acquiring a small couch (loveseat?) from a friend.  I'm not sure if I'm babysitting it for her for the summer or if it'll take up permanent residence, but it'll make a good place to curl up and read in my library.

Incidentally, I feel really good about moving into a place that was previously occupied by a gay couple.  And they're practitioners too (they're going on Dathun at Karme Choling this summer). 

Things I need/want to get:

• a small end table to serve for my shrine (instead of the top of a bookcase)
• a new iMac and printer
• a tea kettle (oh!  we already have one I can take)
  
• a couple of 2-drawer steel filing cabinets (with two I can use a sheet of plywood and a couple of 1x4s to make another work surface for my computing/writing area)
• a better ergonomic workstation chair.  (Or maybe just use my yoga ball?)
  
• lots of essentials for the bathroom (shower head with hose, a stock of TP, toilet brush, etc.)
• a very large mirror, preferably with a frame (I saw a good one at Cost Plus, but it was over $200)
  
• cleaning supplies (sponges, soaps, rags)
  
• a vacuum cleaner (maybe the guys will just leave theirs?)
• a TV (eventually. not a high priority--I can watch my DVDs on my Mac)
• additional lounging/couch cushions
  
• I may eventually need to get a small dinette, but I'm going to settle in first
• OMG groceries
  

My sense of priority for my apartment:

1. open all of the blinds and windows
2. smudge/burn incense
   
3. find the right place to setup my shrine and do so
4. bring in some plants
   
5. setup a staging area for book boxes to go
6. setup a staging area for kitchen stuff to go
7. get the heavy stuff moved (I hired some guys via craigslist)
   
8. get a troupe of friends and a moving truck to move all of the boxes etc.
   
9. drink beer and eat pizza with said troupe of friends
10. setup my bedroom as best possible for the immediate need
    
11. bring Miyu (my cattisatva) to the new place

I'm concerned about Miyu -- she doesn't handle changes to the environment well.  Maybe I can ask my cabin-dwelling neighbor and friend Masha to keep her company during the moving process.